Breaking up with Plato

Plato was what brought us together and apart. For he was the one to shape friendship. Were he to stay quiet, he would have saved me from the pain of knowing you. Maybe Plato is innocent, and I’m just trying to lash out at the first person that comes to mind. Before you, I thought of myself as solitary in my existence. I didn’t allow anyone in, for fear they’ll know me for what I am. However, Life had a vicious way of teaching me that I was not alone, and that was by bringing you to me. Regardless, I’m still grateful for that because for the first time Plato’s words resonated with me. At that time, I took my first breath as someone who was finally not alone. I was euphoric for having someone who knew me as I knew myself, who I didn’t scare off by the ugliness of my soul and who taught me how to embrace my flaws and reflect on them. And for that, I’m sincerely grateful because, for once, I didn't feel ashamed of being vulnerable. Our friendship blossomed like tree flowers in the spring,but of course, they had to wither in front of winter's anger.

Winter came with its strong storms, whisked you away, and carried you far away from me, leaving only memories behind. And God were those memories cunning. Sometimes they would resurge in my weakest moments and make me remember the warmth and genuine love I had for you, urging me to reach out to you again. Other times, they painted you as your wickedest self and made me draw back, urging me to loathe you. I loath you for knowing me and leaving nonetheless. And thus, memories were the wickest torture my body has ever experienced. I replayed our moments so many times in hope of finding excuses for why you left.

Summer came ,and you came back ,but you weren’t the same. My brain had already established what kind of person you are now. I couldn’t look you in the eyes without thinking about how you broke me. Even Kintsugi can't fix my heart after it was dismantled to pieces. It can never be whole again. Thus, the last meeting and eternal goodbye of summer’s warmth.

Hiba ABBASSI

Commentaires

Posts les plus consultés de ce blog

أن تنجو لتضيع

**الخريف الأول** أربعة حيطان تتكئ على بعضها البعض لتشكل في الأركان زوايا حادة أكثر من كونها قائمة، ولا تملك لنفسها ما يشد أزرها إلا سارية واحدة في المنتصف، فتظهر مظهرًا تعِبًا مُعابًا. لكن ما إن تغادر الشمس خدرها وتغزل أول غزلها، حتى تلبسه هذه الغرفة الكئيبة، فتَبُثَّ فيها من نور الحياة وبهجتها ما تبثه قطعة الحلوى في فم الطفل الصغير، وذكر الإله في فؤاد الشيخ الضرير. يستيقظ هو، عتيق الوجع، يابس الجذع، يذوي مع كل خطوة يخطوها نحو النافذة. يفتح علبة السجائر ليدخنها كلها، يرمي بنفسه في براثن الموت ليحيا. يستنشق الدخان ملء رئتيه، وتكاد عظامه الهزيلة تطِقُّ من انتفاخ صدره في محاولة يائسة أخيرة أن يستنشق الوجود، أن يمتصه، أن يحسه… لكنه منوّم ومشلول، غائب ومُغيَّب في أغوار الألم. أطلق الهاتف رنينه للمرة الثالثة وسط ضباب غرفته ورأسه، ثم أجاب: – ألو؟ – يا ابني، يا سعيد، مَرّ أسبوع ولم تزرني. مُرّ عليّ هذا الصباح، فقد حضرت كل الوصفات التي تحبها. وهذه بداية الخريف، وتحتاج إلى إفطار دافئ ورفقة. مُرّ عليّ ودعني أطمئن ...

The last confession

Parents are forgotten gods. My first act of worship was not a prayer but irrevocable love for my parents. It was easy to cast parents as gods when they were your eyes to a new life. The slow movement of your mouth as your teeth grind food, the small steps that you take confidently in a stride now, the smile that goes too wide because there is no shame in showing a moment of joy: all of my parents’ teachings live through me. I was their New Testament, their Vedas, their Torah, and so were they to me. Their voices wrestled in my head at every decision. What would my parents do? In moments of fear, I reached for the safe blanket of parental security to take cover in. Their ideas seemed so big and inconceivable. My inexperience ascended them to the pedestal of gods. I sought their blessing as earnestly as any believer. Heaven was the small smile of approval. Hell was the disappointment concealed behind indifference. It was important to maintain this balance, albeit impossible; my brain fou...

Le poids du savoir

J’aurais préféré que mes yeux restent bandés par l’ignorance, et que mon cerveau reste occupé par les futilités de la vie. Hélas, j’étais avide de savoir et de connaissances. Je voulais illuminer les esprits, être l’émissaire de la conscience humaine, rétablir la justice dans ce monde, m’engager dans tous les combats sociaux et rester fidèle à mes principes. En d’autres mots, j’avais foi en l’humanité. Je n’étais pas prêt à confronter le monstre que représente la cruauté humaine. Je savais très bien qu’elle existait, j’avais subi ses atrocités, mais j’étais convaincu que la bonté existait aussi et qu’il fallait simplement persister . On peut dire que je me racontais des sottises. À l’instant où j’ai voulu m’engager sur le chemin de la lutte contre les injustices et prendre part au combat, j’ai ouvert les yeux sur un monde qui ne connaît guère de limites, un monde dénué de justice. Un monde où les voix des minorités sont étouffées, écartées du champ médiatique, tandis que les bour...

Toubib Or Not To Be

Rechercher dans ce blog